Deborah’s Story
First, let me tell you a little about Anthony or AJ as he was known to his friends and family. A successful sales trader in a stressful, high-pressured environment, he was passionate about the stock market, but his other passion was out in the countryside where he spent his spare time fishing and shooting. Anthony and I met at work in 1998, married in 2000 and had two sons.
Family life continued until February 2016 when just after his 50th birthday AJ started feeling unwell and was diagnosed with shingles. He then suffered other symptoms and in March was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
By April 2016 AJ had started his six months chemotherapy treatment. Throughout this time, he remained stoic and would say “this is not going to beat me, it’s not going to take me down, we will beat this.”
At the end of 2017 AJ received good news, that the cancer had gone and although still an ill man, he was able to lead a relatively normal life and returned to work in the city.
In November 2018, the immunotherapy had come to an end and there was still no cancer in his body, but a black spot had appeared at the base of his eye. AJ was told his optic nerves were dying which meant he was gradually losing his eyesight and in August 2019 went completely blind.
Such was his determination and courage AJ decided to go back to work. With the help of his friends providing lifts to the train station and cabs, he was able to get into his office. Once there he used his incredible ability to memorise everything so that he could continue to fulfil his role.
March 2020 came, and lockdown hit. AJ deteriorated and, although the cancer had not returned, tests continued and in July he was admitted to the hospital for a plasma transfusion. After 12 days AJ returned home and shortly after the neurologist called and said they thought he was suffering from Neuromyelitis Optica Spectrum Disorder [NMOSD]; a terminal condition which had a life expectancy of 9-12 months.
AJ’s care fell between private health care and the NHS and after an assessment by the GP it was agreed that palliative care was needed.
This was when the ‘angels’ from Woking & Sam Beare Hospice and Wellbeing Care appeared. Two nurses came daily and it was a life saver for us. AJ loved the nurses and I welcomed the respite they gave me.
My view regarding hospice care was that it was a place to go for end-of-life care and was surprised when one of the nurses suggested AJ come into the hospice so they could provide him and our family with support. This was arranged for the following week.
It was the first time I had been to a hospice and only then did I realise what a calm, serene place it was, full of helpful wonderful people whose only interest is to care for your loved ones and you.
Here AJ was able to have his bed out on the balcony. Sadly he deteriorated a great deal and we then knew he was not coming home. He was looked after so well, the doctors and nurses were all so friendly, kind and informative. I think he got there and just felt so relaxed.
The following day was spent with the boys, joking, talking and playing all his favourite songs from the 80’s. Sadly, on the 25th September 2020 AJ lost his brave battle
The facilities at the Hospice, the care provided to AJ and our family, and the support have been amazing. The support you are given from the moment that your loved one arrives is incredible. To think that the hospice is so heavily reliant on fundraising and the generosity of our local community makes it even more incredible. I am very grateful and feel exceedingly privileged that we were able to benefit from this care and support.
Thank you
Deborah
